On The Things That Matter

I'm doing well enough for someone who hasn't been fortunate enough to have a therapist who is capable of genuinely empathizing. I'm almost 50 days sober. I did it all on my own and by choice. And I choose, every day, to keep on keeping on. Even though I can start using again, I remember how much I was suffering. I don't want to go back to that. I had to experience complete and utter loneliness. It took self-harm for me to realize that I can't keep doing this. 

My takeaway is that no one will be there for you. People give up, unfortunately. But it's not their job to ensure your happiness and success. Maybe someday they'll return. Maybe they won't ever forgive you, and their image of you in their minds will never change positively again. Eventually people just stop talking to you. Life becomes a barren wasteland. And it will hurt. It will hurt so much, with no solution in sight, a hope dying like a star fated to becoming nothing but a black hole.

Having a co-occurring disorder is an indescribable experience.

I pray that you don't have to go through what I went through. And I hope you're kind to those who are. A weary heart can still love. I have faith in you.

Love, J.C.

P.S. Be kind. I mean it.